I will try to fix you

I can't explain it, nor do I think I can write how I feel, I'm sort of trapped in a whirlwind of things that won't or will never make sense. But for once, it doesn't bother me. Usually I get weirded out by uncertainty, that inability to judge what is ahead, yet now it seems to have disappeared, that insecuurity.

I have audtions tomorrow, I think my voice sucks, but that's ok, Erin thinks I'm great. I love her, if she were a boy, or I were a boy, we'd be soul mates, but since we're both females, and straight, we shall forever be soul sisters. It's funny, she is the only one I could say something like this about and she wouldn't truly take it as hitting on her. Or would she! Erin, if you're reading this, take your head out of the gutter! ^_~.

I'm not worried about finals, another weird feeling...I usually freak about it, I wish it could be that my grades are good enough I wouldn't have to worry about it, but that is not the case. I wonder what my feeling is...I can't even describe myself as anything except sub rosa.

I've been keeping a lot to myself lately, a lot of the things I've been seeing, the weird feelings, the things I do on an everyday basis I have kept inside...I suppose it's good, maybe I'll freak less people out.

I've realize that I'm really jumpy...damn Alan for making me realize that! I am really jumpy, I guess it's because of Todd...damn that man for being my father, oh well. Supposedly I'm going to have to call him soon and tell him that I'm going on that cruise...*blah* I don't want to talk to him, at all.

Let's see, what else...I'm listening to my new CD, the mix I just made, it's great, I love it! I'm listening to Fall Back Down by Rancid, I really feel that way with a few people, if I fall they come to my rescue...only when I fall. Hmm, flash backs of freshman year drama...

Oh! I have a new fav saying, Dani-love showed me it! Catapultam habeo, nisi aurum omnem mihi dabis ad caput tuum saxum immake mittam. If you can translate this, have a ball! Erin, you can't answer!